Resigned…

to so many things at the moment including ..

  • the return of church being a difficult place to be again.,
  • sheer exhaustion most of the time. But, this has been the first weekend I’ve managed to do something other than a little light housework, essential shopping, slob on the sofa, catch up on sleep and sheer resentment by 5.00 p.m. on Sunday Evening at how fast two days off have been going,
  • continuing uncertainty on so many fronts.

I am also resigned to having to do a course, at a level much lower than I am capable of doing, just to tick a few boxes. (though, quite how it ticks the “up-skilling” box is slightly beyond all of us. However, it’s not actually down-skilling.) I am in danger, however, of not passing it from lack of motivation! There may be more on this matter around February!

On the positive side, there have been some very funny moments at work over the last few weeks, including the Best Ever Guilty Conscience moment I’ve seen at work (and I work with teenagers….), my sticker for “Being Good and Sitting Nicely” from the nursery, the moment in A&E when I was heard to be telling a Shakespearean tale to a lad who didn’t know the story (which entertained the nurses as well). Oh, and walking into the Techies’ office with the most creative reason they’ve ever heard for requesting a new e-mail address, (normally impossible to get, which has also totally confirmed the view of those who work there that my second role department are completely bonkers)  – but it was worth it just for the looks they gave me, and the knowing smile from the one person who understood just why I was citing the Archbishop of Canterbury in the reason.

There have also been some moments of sheer God-incidences, where I’ve been in exactly the right place at the right time. I may have thought what I did all that particularly awful day was a complete waste of time and effort, but it was well and truly used to make a really difficult situation much easier. And, some of the stuff I did last year is also paying off.

Still, no-one ever promised this big decision stuff was ever going to be easy, and, on balance, it’s been easier than it might have been – and there is no way I would ever go back to where I was two/three years ago. When I remember that, all the rest is OK.

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