Monthly Archives: March 2010

Matters Domestic

are engaging the Japes’ mind and thoughts today, and lots of the little tasks that don’t get done in the everyday run of life have been tackled today, so the drains, pipes, washing machine, vacuum cleaner, and broom have all been cleaned, the mop and other cleaning cloths are all being cleaned, surfaces are all sparkly, and dust has been removed from places where I’ve let it hibernate since the last few days at home.

The Sock Cull has finally taken place. Only a month later than planned… Other Departmental Overhauls are pending.

The new books have all been found homes, and I’ve done some music practice!!

Time for a snooze, methinks.

Obedience

It’s not a concept that comes easily to me, being a woman of somewhat determined nature, and strongly independent. And, um, very stubborn with it. With an ability to sulk that is somewhat unparalleled. Oh, add a preference for being right… and I do indignant with great aplomb and panache.

I am well aware of these traits in myself and, on the whole, work reasonably well with them.. generally using the better sides of all these aspects of myself, except when things go wrong, then the worst sides all come out to play at once!!

Which doesn’t make life easy for me, or anyone who knows and loves me…

It is indeed an extremely brave person who decides tackling me when I am in the midst of the worst of bad moods about the unfairness of life, and the iniquities of the human race, and points out all my faults in this – and we’re both still alive to tell the tale.

I’m still not really speaking to God, and church/prayer is still a horrendous place to be – but I’ve worked out a coping strategy, and I am stopping flitting from place to place, routine to routine, in the hopes the “right place” will turn up. Because, right now it won’t.

I could, of course, choose not to go – and I’d half gone down that road, but hard as going to church is at the moment, not going is infinitely worse.

Tired, but content

So ends that phase of my life.

  • I now definitely only work in one work place, (two jobs still, but it’s better than three jobs and two workplaces!)
  • I regain weekends, something I’ve not had on a regular basis for over a quarter of a century anyway, but had been hopeful of before the three jobs…. etc!
  • Three weeks of working six days a week has not been good for me!
  • But, I now have fifteen whole days clear of work commitments and no horrendous commuting, apart from a little e-mailing of a report and documents that I’ve been using to record work on, and a small matter to chase up.

Much of the working out of this bit of time has been not pleasant, but has been well done – eventually!!!

As a treat for getting though these few weeks, I had a grand spending of my book tokens today, and indulged my main book buying weakness of hymn/church music books!! It somehow doesn’t seem quite so extravagant to spend £50.00 on two books when it’s with book tokens….

Coming down the home straight – only two more sleeps

The past forty eight hours have gone by in a kind of unbloggable blur… Not totally unbloggable, though!!

I now have new favourite men, the delightful ticket office people at the little station I get the train from to go to work. I’ve just graduated to needing a season ticket, but because I only needed one for three weeks before the excitements of a two week break, I’ve been purchasing weekly tickets.

However, because of the inclement weather on Wednesday, I changed coats… forgetting I’d left the weekly ticket in my pocket, as the bus was uncharacteristically prompt! Cue very embarrassing moment on train, as I only had just enough money on me to pay for the day ticket needed.

But, cue happy and excited Japes – I can reclaim it. What’s more, in the middle of sorting out the claim form, my bus arrived, (it’s only half hourly, as is the train ) the lovely man waved me off to the bus, and promised he’d have it ready and waiting for me in the morning, as he knew he’d see me!! Both of them who work there have been really kind and patient with me in this learning curve of commuting, and especially have not been making me feel bad about reclaiming £6.00.

I change roles again tomorrow, though, they are blurring more and more as time goes by!

I may have more interesting technical vocabulary for you tomorrow, Ian! Friday last week  introduced me to a boutonniere.

Only four more sleeps..

Thank you, Farli, for your kind suggestion of knitting. Although I can knit, and have occasionally been known to do so when the need arises, it’s not something I enjoy, and unfortunately, it would not make the commute any less horrid for me.

On to today’s doings.

After today, my steel toe cap boots can have a well earned rest for three weeks – unless I wear them to venture out into the garden, which I really ought to do soon.

I didn’t manage the calm start to the day, owing to the minor mishap of adjusting my alarm clock – but to a p.m. time, rather than the a.m. time required. Oops. I did get up in time, just, but arrived at work place desperate for more coffee!

Tuesdays are never tranquil, but I kind of like them that way!! I got to play with a new toy today; a mortising machine. I did like it very much.

Tomorrow, now I’ve caught up on the e-mails, will be a very different day again. Whilst I’m relieved to have “only” one place of work, albeit with two different roles, it’s getting harder and harder to differentiate between the roles sometimes, as one thing leads to another, and there’s a lot of overlap. So, tomorrow is swapping back to my other, better known, and original role.

Only five more sleeps…

and today has been reasonably eventful! But, it feels as if my equilibrium is somewhat restored, or rather, as if I’m not going to fight anyone and everyone, and that I might make it to 5.00 pm on Saturday more or less in one piece.

Today? It involved adventures with a circular saw, and architraves.  Oh, and a threat to bring some reins in after the holidays…

It involved remembering that most direct bus route home is probably better now the university term has ended, and the roadworks on the main road are improved – it was the most pleasant bus journey home I’ve had for ages.

It involved getting up early, but doing things in a much, much better order, so the day got off to a calmer start. Long gone are the days when I could hurtle out of bed, and be ready to go in five minutes. (Yes, that involved a thorough wash!)

It involved me finding a book I could read on the bus, as the print size was good.

It’s also going to involve an early (for me) night.

Only six more sleeps

then a whole fortnight to myself… getting up when I like, not going on a bus unless I want to go somewhere I want to go to, interacting only with those I chose to, and a chance to chill out properly.

Maybe also a good chance to get my head around a goodly number of things! This last few weeks have been abysmal for that, and that was pretty apparent during a discussion I had with someone the other day, when if I’d been the other person, I’d’ve got very exasperated with me being uncommunicative and sulky, and would have said a lot, lot more, much less politely than was actually said. In retrospect, I got off pretty lightly, really, though that’s not what I thought at the time.

Oh, and for those trying to guess what my typo the other day was, none of you are right, though sheep was always a good possibility!

Adjustments

I think this has been one of those horrid phases of life to be put down to experience, to be learnt from, but no longer dwelt on and fretted over! It’s happened, nothing can be done now, a choice has been made, even if it’s the choice I least wanted to have to make, and the best will be made of the situation. It is only for another three months. If that.

So, amongst my challenges for the next few months are

  • to work out how I’m going to make the most of the horrid commuting time, given I don’t possess an ipod or similar device, (and don’t want one for lots of reasons), that I find it almost impossible to read on buses, but am finding by the end of the third or even fourth hour a day on the bus, I am losing the will to live!
  • to find a way of getting a better balance in my life, with the aforementioned horrid commute.
  • to stop being so hard on myself
  • to work out what I want to do next.
  • to remember to enjoy myself!!

I am an idiot

and am retiring to a far corner to recover…

In time, I will be OK about it all, and I’m sure somewhere along the line it’ll all work out, but right now it doesn’t seem that way.

I so need sleep, a holiday, and a hug.

(Edit: I did catch the Freudian typo of an extra “h” in the last sentence before publishing, but it has reminded me I need to write an Important E-mail!)

The conclusion is…

Number Two Job has become Number One Job.

Number One Job will fit in and around Number Two Job.

Application for what would’ve been my dream job, had the originally advertised hours stood, has been withdrawn.

For tonight, I’m allowing myself to be upset that my hopes were raised, and smashed, and angry that it’s supposedly OK to do this, but from tomorrow, I’m putting it behind me. I will throw myself into the new work at hand, knowing that whilst it’s not the job I wanted, it is a job I enjoy, which is worthwhile and makes a huge difference to those I work with.