Eventually. It’s not there yet, but I am calmer than I was, and certainly less likely to do a vanishing act!
Sense finally prevailed and rather than stew about everything, I wrote every single last bit of it down, so that when talking happens, I won’t have forgotten it!! It’ll never get posted, and will be deleted once we’ve talked, but I needed to get it all out somewhere and somehow.
It felt odd to start with, because this is not someone I’m in the habit of writing the personal stuff to, either by e-mail or letter, other than to arrange to meet, or to pass on essential information. I discovered, in the process, I’ve not lost the knack of letter writing in this way. Once I’d got over the initial “This feels very odd…” it all flowed (literally, hankies were on one side of the computer) very easily, and simply.
So, whilst nothing has essentially changed, it seems more cope-able with for the next bit of time and uncertainty.
Mind you, I was nearly back to square one after the Scotland Ireland match. Honestly, who needs Lenten Penances when they support Scottish Rugby?