Just a phase I'm going through…

It’s getting towards That Time of Year again… Saturdays and Sundays will be planned around the Six Nations Fixtures. So, I looked for the Fixtures List to bookmark it, especially as students are now mentioning it.

My bookmarks are all relatively well organised into folders, and when I add a new one, it often suggests  which folder I should put it in. I’m not sure the “Bible and Prayer” one would’ve been my first choice, though it has been suggested to me that my team of choice need much prayer!! (Rude friends I have.)

oops…

So the sensible soul that I sometimes can be had planned for a practical day of the monthly Big Shop, possibly the purchasing of a few necessary items of clothing, and maybe the reward of coffee and cake at a suitable emporium. Even a trip to the library and a bookshop, followed by more coffee and cake.

The foolish soul that I also am put my only coat in the washing machine in that not very awake yet state I’m normally in on a Saturday morning before checking the prevailing weather conditions.

I can only plead that it really did need a wash.. and my subconscious was doing us all a favour.

So, on the halfway through the half term weekend that it is, the plan is now stay home, keep dry and warm, and relax which is possibly the better option anyway. It’s been a busy, fraught week and we’re all a touch frazzled.

So, ever since I moved to this bit of the world, I’ve been resisting going to one particular church.  In fact, for the first couple of years here, I think it was a wise choice. Spending most of your adult life living it according to the ethos and charism of a particular saint, (who in my not so humble opinion did a pretty good job of following Jesus, and living his life according to the Gospel, albeit in a bit of an extreme manner at times, and a good few centuries ago now) and on changing that, going to a church dedicated to that saint, well, it wasn’t going to happen!

This year, around favourite saint time, instead of resisting, sulking, hurting like mad, I prayed the offices for the day in full, as I had done for a couple of decades prior to this. It was all OK. It was the start of my toddle back home, church-wise.

But, the question was – where? I’ve been going to one that’s an awkward bus ride away, which didn’t work on Christmas Day, there being no buses!Anyway,  I was still getting the what was now becoming familiar losing the will to carry on at critical points – and despairing. Was I just going to have to accept this as part of church for me now? Was God trying to tell me something and I was just not getting it? Anyway, there were buses today, but I felt like trying this one within easy walking distance I’ve been avoiding!

And, joy, I got through! Crucially, no-one forced me to share the Peace once I’d sat down after shaking hands with my nearest neighbours.

I swear that icon winked at me as I went up for communion! I grinned back… it’s nice to know I’m back on speaking terms with my favourite saint again as well as feeling I’ve found a church that may become home after all.

Oh yes!! Tomorrow, wallpapering takes place.

What? It’s Christmas, it’s holiday time…. yes, yes, I know all that, but what’s a Japes to do? It’s got to be done and this is the best time to do it! I’m at home for 12 days, it’s quiet, the neighbours are away, I needed something to do, and lying around doing very little lost all attraction around 4.00 p.m. on Christmas afternoon, once the sneezles and wheezles had all finished, and my end of term exhaustion had worn off.

More to the point, by then I was in a mood most foul and horrible, and not fit to be inflicted on anyone else. Honest, this was far and away the best plan. Constructive destruction it was…. I took all my temper out on stripping off the old wallpaper. I caused chaos in my local DIY emporium. I started by needing 10 rolls of wallpaper that was way out of my reach, continued with not seeing something that was right in front of my nose  - I was looking for a gray Stanley knife, not a blue one. I finished by dropping a tin of paint upside down, I was so proud – I only lost a bit of it, I was so fast in shoving the tin back onto it’s lid. I can’t imagine why the man who dealt with all of this went in a different direction when I went back the next day for the step ladder and some new screwdrivers.

I feel a whole heap better than if I’d had a lazy time, but next time I feel inspired to do this sort of thing over Christmas, I’m not telling anyone until it’s all over. I have caused angst and anguish amongst those who see this time of year for family and friends…. yes, well, that’s so not going to happen. We agreed about that a good while ago. I love my family, but we don’t spend time together. I love my friends as well, but the ones I’d like to be with are a long way away.

Still, enough of other people’s angst. I am excited about my wallpapering!

for I am full of cold, sneezles, and wheezles. (No measles, though I did that aged 5. First migraine aged 13 and ‘flu, proper ‘flu, aged 45.) 15 consecutive sneezes!! I’m staying home, wrapped up warm, and keeping my germs to myself. I am very happy to be doing so!

Still, I am not full of anxiety as I was last year over employment and frozen pipes and guttering. Employment, whilst not ideal, is currently settled, and pays just enough to live on. Hopefully, the work done during the course of the year means the pipes and guttering will be better in more wintery weather!

Nor am I dealing with a boiler crisis, in a new home, which was the year before last.

Nor am I over-working as an organist or in any voluntary capacity in church.  I am in no rush to return to either of those roles.

Nor am I dealing with unreasonable expectations from other people… that’s lovely after many years creating Christmas for other people. I can see me wanting solitary Christmasses for a while to come because of that!

I finished all my preparations on Thursday, food, new books and DVDs, and apart from a trip to 8.00 a.m. Eucharist tomorrow morning at the nearest church (no buses, so can’t get to the church I’ve begun going to.) am not planning on going out for a few days now.

Happy Christmas.

Since Advent is all about waiting patiently, it’s an art I seem to have been practising a lot this week!

Trains… well, best not to discuss some of the weeks adventures. On the third day of such adventures, I did resist temptation, and remained waiting for the correct 15.03 train, (it was late, the previous train had been changed into one that didn’t stop at my station, the one before that was still due to arrive.) rather than get on the 15.03 train on the adjoining platform. I regularly have to resist getting the trains to Scotland, but this was the hardest I’d had to fight for a while.

I waited for my beautifully up to date paper work to be inspected. Did anyone want to see it? They did not. My consolation is if I’d not been totally up to date, I’d've been inspected.

Waiting for sense to prevail in several areas of my life – well, we’re working on it. With the aid of a shopping trolley

The experimental phase has come to a conclusion… I am far too much of a liturgically minded soul to cope with singing a Christmas Carol on Advent Sunday, far too uncomfortable with 45 minutes worth of sermon which seems to me to be almost totally regurgitated Bible commentary and I don’t like being shouted at from the pulpit, and basically, I’m far too Anglican to change…I’ve needed this break from all things Anglican to learn that!

So tomorrow, with the start of the church’s New Year, it’s time to go home.

This going to weddings caper is quite exhausting…. Until recently, thinking about what to wear at all formal events was easy. However, the former way of life, and the attire that went with it being a thing of the past, this is no longer the case.

I spared you the detailed angst that went with the clothes shopping saga – at the time. I’ve recovered enough to give you the basic details!

The plan was for a dress, but finding one I liked within my budget, and that I was comfortable wearing,  just didn’t happen. So, skirt and smart top was the next plan. Finding one of each that I liked, was within my budget, that I was comfortable wearing and which went well with the other.  In fact, skirt was purchased! Then ideal top was found, but it did not go with the skirt, but it did go with several of the pairs of smart trousers I already possess. Skirt was then returned! (What d’you mean, I should’ve kept it?)

Shoes were actually easily chosen. But, they’ve been hell to break in! We’re not quite there yet, and I am glad I didn’t pay full price, as I seem to have paid almost as much again in plasters.

Then, with horror, I realised that the agony thus far described wasn’t over. I contemplated the accessories…..basically, I just don’t have any.  Nope, no handbags/clutch bags, no jewellery. So, I decided as I was only going to the church, these weren’t necessary. However, my work colleagues were horrified at this state of affairs, and brought in a load of necklaces andsmart bags for me to choose from.

Which I did.

No, I did not consider make-up. I have gone the last 40 mumble years without it, I am NOT starting now.

So, the day arrived, I got all organised, clean, dressed up, (feeling slightly not myself at all!) and contemplated setting off.  Walk, bus, train, train, bus. Essential items – house keys, purse, bus ticket,  train pass, A-Z of local city, certain items of a feminine nature we won’t talk about, hankies, card and present for bride and groom….. it slowly dawned on me that, like it or not, small backpack was just going to have be used (and shoved under a chair in church if need be!). This looking elegant lark does not work on a cool day in November, with two hours on public transport! It also meant I could shove the fleece I needed to keep me warmer whilst travelling out of sight. (What was wrong with a coat? Um. Two things. I only possess one, and it was at work.)

I had to remind myself I was not going to work, but remaining on the train for a further two stops,  to change to another train… then got lost went the scenic route to the bus station. It’s been a good while since I wandered around that town…

“It’s the bus stop before the Motorway Junction,” the church website had cheerfully proclaimed, which is OK, but not if you can’t actually tell it’s the church, until you’re whizzing past. Oh well, the buses are every 6-10 minutes, and I had allowed for such happenings.

The wedding was fabulous, and I met up with some great former colleagues… the coffee and cakes for those of us not going onto the reception later were a brilliant idea, and certainly much appreciated!

The reverse journey was somewhat easier, but I still got lost between bus and train station. Unusual, that. I normally have an excellent sense of direction.

I have definitely needed a quiet day at home to recover!

So, I’ve been digging around in places I’ve not been for quite a long while. It’s what happens when long lost papers turn up, and when I’m amalgamating them with the ones I’ve always had.  And, I am delighted to report it not only didn’t hurt a bit, but a few monsters seem to have been dealt with most comprehensively in the process.

I gleefully added the original card I was sent, aged 16, with my National Insurance numbers with all my other official papers. It was reassuring to discover I have had it memorised correctly these last few decades.

Why my mum thought handing me my Health Clinic card from when I was a baby was the thing to do is a little beyond me. It confirmed, however, I was not far out when I said I was just over 5lbs at birth. (I was 5lb 8oz at three weeks old.)

My clarinet will be celebrating it’s 30th birthday in a few weeks, according to it’s original guarantee form. Saving up for it was a summer’s worth of baby sitting I’d much rather not think about ever again, but the 30 years with my clarinet is well worth celebrating. I don’t want another one, it suits me well. (But, if anyone were to offer me other members of the clarinet family, I wouldn’t say “No”, especially to an A clarinet. Or a bass one.)

I’ve smiled at the photos that have turned up. Proof positive I’ve not worn dresses since I was about 8, and just why I’ve refused to wear them is apparent.  I was a very cute 3 year old, though, especially as a bridesmaid.

I found, as I was putting other orders of service away in the box file, the order of service from a particularly significant event of 1996. I couldn’t quite make myself read the middle section, but I did sing the hymns, and read the readings to myself, and reminded myself of what matters now about the choices I made then.

All my hope on God is founded

Isaiah 55:6-11

Romans 12: 1-13

O, thou who camest from above

John 15: 1 – 17

Lord God your love has called us here 

Be still for the presence of the Lord

I, the Lord of sea and sky.

I might not have made it to church this morning (I’m on my way as soon as I’ve done this), but being able to sing and read all those in one go, on top of the other rememberings, and remember where God is in it all was very, very good.

But, I’m delighted they are aching, for it means the piano is now here, and I think I did about five hours practice yesterday, as well as getting it here, set up and in it’s rightful place!

We will gloss over the saga of woe that occurred between me ordering and paying for , and actually getting said piano. It’s not pretty, but justice has been done.

Possibly bringing it home myself, on a shopping trolley, was a little foolish. It is designed to be used for moving around, but whilst it’s much the same size as my keyboard for width, and depth, it’s considerably heavier, and it has it’s own dedicated stand, which is correspondingly heavier than my keyboard’s X-stand.  So, the box to house all of this + its packaging is about the same size as me.. . in fact, out of curiosity, once I could – I did discover I could fit in the box quite nicely.

So, yes, getting a taxi would have been sensible.

However, sensible and Japes do not always belong in the same sentence when she is determined to get something done. I was determined this piano was coming home.

There are a couple of glitches, but once they are sorted, I am very content with this purchase. It will be a great practice piano, and because the keys are properly weighted, the piano playing arm and back muscles will be kept in better trim. But, oh, I am aching today!